Last week, I had a rather unpleasant encounter on the London Underground train.

In the height of summer, the London Underground can get very hot (something about the clay used to build the tunnels, I’m told).

And when people are hot and bothered, things can get a bit unpleasant…

So, I was on my morning commute to the hospital, and despite the early hour, the train was already really hot. Plus, with the rush hour crowds, it wasn’t easy.

I was standing at the train’s doorway, when a frail old man with a walking stick got on.

He looked around, hoping for a seat, but no one offered one – likely a combination of the crowd, people looking at their phones, or asleep.

Asleep in the priority seat was a tall, burly man wearing a construction high-viz vest. I tapped his knee to wake him.

He glowered angrily at me, hovering over my slight 5ft 3 self, and said, “Do you know how old I am?! Why did you wake me!”

He was probably stressed that he was still working in his 60s and exhausted, but I was still glad to get off the train shortly afterwards.

This made me think about the topic of kindness…

In last week’s [TT] blog I talked about making time.

Did you know that when we’re stressed, stretched, or rushed, it can be harder to be kind?

I often check in on myself after a particularly busy day of overbooked clinics at work – was I able to be kind?

📍The Science Behind Stressed-Out Kindness

There’s a famous experiment with theology students – people you’d expect to be kind-hearted – that perfectly illustrates this.

Students were asked to walk across campus to give a presentation about the parable of the Good Samaritan (about helping strangers in need). Some were told they were running late, while others were told they had plenty of time.

On their way, they passed a person slumped in an alley, clearly needing help.

The results? Students who thought they were late were far less likely to stop and help, even though they were on their way to talk about helping others!*

When our stress systems are activated, our brain’s capacity for noticing and responding to others’ needs actually diminishes.

📍3 Ways Kindness Benefits Your Brain Health

🌟1️⃣ Creates Your Natural High

Acts of kindness trigger what researchers call the “helper’s high” – a release of endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin that creates feelings of well-being and happiness.

Yes, this neurochemical boost makes you feel good in the moment. And, it also improves your mood for hours afterwards and even strengthens your immune system!

🌟2️⃣ Builds Stress Resilience

Regular acts of kindness help regulate your nervous system, shifting you from sympathetic (stress) mode into parasympathetic (rest and restore) mode.

People who volunteer regularly show lower levels of inflammatory markers and reduced stress hormones. Indeed, kindness can protect your brain from the negative effects of chronic stress!

🌟3️⃣ Strengthens Social Connections

When you’re kind to others, it activates the same reward pathways in your brain as receiving kindness yourself.

These positive social interactions build the neural networks that support emotional regulation and cognitive resilience as you age.

📍3 Ways to Stay Kind When Stressed

🌟 Create Buffer Time: Leave 10 minutes earlier than you think you need. That extra time creates space for kindness rather than rush.

🌟 Practice Self-Compassion First: When you’re harsh with yourself, it’s harder to be gentle with others. Treat yourself with the same kindness you’d show a good friend.

🌟 Notice Micro-Moments: Even when stressed, you can offer a smile, hold a door, or say “thank you” warmly. These tiny acts still create those beneficial brain changes.

📍Try This Week

Choose one small act of kindness to practice daily – perhaps letting someone merge in traffic, complimenting a colleague, or simply listening fully when someone speaks to you.

📍Question for you today (and a bonus Q)

What Kind Act will you choose to do today? (And how might you create a bit more space in your schedule to make kindness easier?)

Wishing you moments of gentle connection,

Dr Sui Wong

PS – Kindness is contagious! *Research shows that witnessing acts of kindness makes us more likely to be kind ourselves. Your small acts ripple outward in ways you might never know.

PPS – I’m thinking of starting a (private?) podcast (similar vibe to these Thursday Tips), what do you think? Will it be helpful? I’d love to hear from you 😊

*references:
Darley, J. M., & Batson, C. D. (1973)..https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1973-31215-001

Jung, H., et al. (2020). https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32406697/

Fowler, J. H., & Christakis, N. A. (2010)..https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20212120/

Dr Sui Wong

Registered Address: 95 High Street HA8 7DB, United Kingdom. www.drsuiwongmd.com

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