🌟[TT] Self Talk 🧠

In two of my Thursday Tips towards the end of 2025, we covered Placebo and Nocebo, showing the power of your mind and belief system on health and illness.

And today, we’re 4 weeks into 2026…!

So I thought it timely to address something many of you might be experiencing.

Perhaps you made resolutions and they’re already wobbling, triggering an inner critic, e.g.: “I have no willpower.” “I’m so lazy.” “I always give up.”

Or maybe you didn’t make resolutions at all, yet still hear: “I should be doing more.” “Everyone else is improving themselves.” “I can’t even commit to a simple goal.”

Either way, January can amplify our self-criticism… whether we’re berating ourselves for ‘failing’ at resolutions or judging ourselves for not making them in the first place.

Here’s what matters: how you talk to yourself about change (or the lack of it) might be more important than any resolution itself.

Your brain doesn’t distinguish between external criticism and self-criticism.

Those harsh words create the same stress response as if someone else were attacking you, making it even harder to move forward in whatever way feels right for you.

The good news?

We can reshape our inner dialogue to support rather than sabotage our wellbeing, regardless of whether we’re working on specific goals or simply navigating daily life.

Here are my 3 tips for today’s Thursday Tips:

📍3 Ways to Transform Your Self-Talk for Brain Health

[1] The Compassionate Reset

When you catch yourself in harsh self-criticism, pause and ask: “Would I speak to a good friend this way?”

Instead of “I’m so stupid,” try “I made a mistake, and that’s how I learn.”

Try this: Write down three phrases you commonly use against yourself. Now rewrite them as if speaking to someone you care about.

[2] The Progress Lens

Rather than “I failed at my resolution,” try “I’m still learning what works for me.”

Instead of “I’m back to square one,” consider “I’m four weeks further along than I was in December.”

Most behaviour change isn’t linear; it’s a series of experiments that inform the next attempt.

I repeat: a series of experiments 🙂 and what you get is helpful data, regardless!

Try this: List three things you’ve learned about yourself from any resolution attempts so far. What conditions helped? What made it harder? This is valuable data, not failure.

[3] The Evidence Check

Our brains have a negativity bias (this is natural, designed for survival).

As a result, we give more weight to negative experiences than positive ones.

When you catch yourself saying “I never stick to anything” or “I always give up,” pause and check the evidence.

List three times you succeeded or persisted with something challenging. This activates your brain’s pattern recognition in a positive direction.

Try this: Keep a “wins journal” – even tiny victories count. Reference it when your inner critic gets loud.

📍Why Self-Talk Matters for Brain Health

Negative self-talk triggers your brain’s threat detection system, increasing your body’s stress hormones that can affect memory formation and decision-making.

Conversely, self-compassionate talk activates regions associated with caregiving and learning, releasing oxytocin and maintaining the cognitive resources needed for behaviour change.

Studies show that people who practice self-compassion are actually more likely to persist with goals after setbacks, not less. They bounce back faster because they’re not wasting energy fighting shame spirals.

Rather remarkable that being kind to yourself is more effective than being harsh, isn’t it?

📍Question for you today

Which of these three self-talk strategies resonates most with you, and when might you try it this week?

Wishing you kindness in your inner conversations,

Dr Sui Wong

PS – I have a mission to inspire a movement for better brain health through practical, evidence-based tips that are encouraging and sustainable. Because better brain health supports better wellbeing – and better wellbeing creates a ripple effect that benefits individuals, families, communities, and beyond.

Could you help me spread this message? If your organisation is looking for a speaker for corporate wellness events or team retreats, I’d love to connect. Please feel free to share my details 😊 drsuiwongmd.com

References:

Langer et al (2025) https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0149763425000405

Sarmiento et al (2024) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11061251/

Neff & Germer (2013) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23070875/

Longe et al (2010) https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19770047/

Neff (2009) https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2790748/

Breines and Chen (2012) https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167212445599

FAQ 

Q1: Why does negative self-talk affect the brain so strongly?
Negative self-talk activates the brain’s threat system, increasing stress hormones that impair memory, focus, and decision-making.

Q2: Is self-compassion just positive thinking?
No. Self-compassion is an accurate and supportive way of speaking to yourself, especially during setbacks, without denial or avoidance.

Q3: Can changing self-talk really help with goals?
Yes. Research shows people who practice self-compassion are more likely to persist after setbacks and recover faster from challenges.

Summary

Self-talk plays a powerful role in brain health and behaviour change. Harsh inner criticism activates stress pathways that impair learning, memory, and motivation. Compassionate self-talk, by contrast, supports emotional regulation, cognitive flexibility, and persistence. Shifting inner dialogue through awareness, evidence checking, and reframing progress helps the brain stay in a state that supports growth rather than threat.

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